Depression facts: little things every lonely person secretly wants to hear

Despite the increased socialization process that the world is going through, loneliness is starting to affect more and more people from all social classes, regardless of their gender, profession, or origin. From a sociological perspective, aiding the well-being of a single member of the community can help the development of society as a whole. People, as social animals, need a sense of belonging. They want to be accepted as members of society, and they want to make themselves useful in it as long as their cooperation is wanted. The reality is that, despite all of our developing social and conversational skills, we fail to communicate correctly what we truly want to express. Although communication methods are now more efficient than ever before, people do not manage to get their feelings across accurately. This is often a result of both ego and fear of a possibly negative response. There are many questions no one asks you when you need them even though you desperately want to hear them. Here are some basic remarks or questions every lonely or depressive person wants to hear in times when they have no one to talk to:

  • I’m here if you need me. (most lonely people need to know that there is someone whom they can depend on)
  • I can help you.
  • You are not alone.
  • Do you want me to help you?
  • What can I do for you?
  • Thanks for your help.
  • It’s not your fault.
  • How was your day? (lonely people want to know that others care about their whereabouts)
  • How are you today?
  • What are you doing?
  • What are you thinking about?
  • Do you want to talk? (talking to someone is perhaps the most efficient way of easing someone’s way out of that lonely state)
  • It was great talking to you.
  • I’ll call you.
  • I love you!
  • Do you want to meet up? (some lonely people rarely get invited anywhere)
  • Let’s eat together! (many people find eating alone as one of their loneliest times)
  • Let’s go for a walk! (a short walk does help a lot)
  • I’ll come with you. (going somewhere with another person is usually seen as a positive experience)
  • Let’s go for a drive!
  • Let’s do something crazy! (a need is felt to break the daily routine)
  • Let’s just relax!
  • I trust you.
  • I believe in you.
  • You are such a great person.
  • Good night! (as night is one of their loneliest moments, sending a sincere wish such as this one alleviates loneliness)
  • Have a nice day!
  • See you soon! (people want to know that the person they are meeting or talking to will be there in their future)
  • Let’s meet again!
  • I’ll be here for you.
  • You matter to me.
  • Everything is fine!
  • It’s alright!
  • Don’t worry! (loneliness gives people time to worry more)

What can you DO?

  • All of the above. (memorize them if you have to)
  • Listen to everything they say, and remember it later. Hearing that somebody cared enough to remember even those small details of a conversation can be a great confidence booster.
  • Invite them somewhere. Take them outside of their usual environment.
  • Go on walks with them.
  • Make eye contact.
  • Hug and hold hands once in a while. It’s reassuring. Make sure that you are not one of those people who find it embarrassing to hold hands in public.
  • Give them a phone call, or contact them whenever you can. This assures them that somebody cares about them despite the fact that they are not next to them physically.
  • Talk about the good past memories. Try to avoid conversations about any negative events or feelings.
  • Offer as much moral support as you can.
  • Don’t criticize them.
  • Give a helping hand. Become useful to them.
  • Just be there! Your simple presence in someone’s life is of great help. (!) Be careful with those who tend to push people away despite actually wanting their presence. Sometimes, although they refuse your help, it’s better to stay with them and show them that you do truly care. If someone tells you that they do not want to talk, it does not necessarily mean that you have to stop talking to them. Despite seeming like a useless monologue, they will listen (or read) and appreciate your persistence.
  • Be genuinely caring! Show how you care.
  • Be bold and daring!
  • Compliment.
  • Smile and crack a joke. 🙂

Check some of these websites if you need help in coping with loneliness: 1 2 3 4

Please share this article and comment with further suggestions if you care! See my other articles as well: Depression facts: do you really need someone else to make you happy? and Depression facts: how to help someone who is suffering from depression



3 thoughts on “Depression facts: little things every lonely person secretly wants to hear

  1. From reading a few of your posts, if feels like you know my mind–things experienced, learned, valued, and now are gathering energy–things that are crying out to be heard. And in multiple languages! Thank you so much for articulating this call for healing change. 🙂 – Mira

    Liked by 1 person

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